Generally I have never taken things slowly ~ despite what my general appearance may lead you to believe :) I like to do many things at once and if I am doing anything, I try to get it finished as quickly as I can so I can get onto the next thing. I hate to waste time; I don't even really enjoy the hairdressers cos I think of all the things that I could be doing instead of sitting in the chair. When she tells me that she is going to put the heater on my hair so the colour takes quicker, I love it!
Impatience is my worst trait, which goes hand in glove with this other "bad" trait of mine.
Point of example, my love of lists. So as soon as I cross one thing off, I can get straight onto that next thing. My tea often gets cold as I set it down to just do a little something and then after 20 minutes, 40 minutes, I will come back to it and of course it has gone cold. Even as I write this post, I am doing a bit of the washing up, blanching some broad beans Jonathan and I picked out of the garden and trying to enjoy a cup of tea, which of course has gone cold. It's crazy ~ I'm crazy
It's an annoying trait for some people who are in my vicinity too. I know a couple of my immediate family shake their head in dismay as I tear around the place doing all sorts of little jobs, when I could be sitting with a drink and enjoy a quiet minute talking to them, instead of shouting out conversations allover the house! It is not a good trait.....all of the time
Years ago I had to train someone to take over my job of Night Classified Clerk at a newspaper. After a couple of nights, she said, "I just don't know how I am going to get all this done. You do everything fast p- you talk fast, you type fast ( but alas not well!! ), you move fast and you think fast. I just don't think I am going to be able to keep your pace up." Poor dear thing.
So see I have been like this for years. Sadly I do believe that losing my dear sister, who was still quite young, made me a bit worse. I don't want to miss a thing and that sense of urgency is getting stronger as I get older. Steven Tyler sings my theme song!
It has its advantages - I get loads and loads of stuff done. Others may say it could be put off, done by someone else, not done at all or delayed until I have a proper window of time. I don't have a lot of unfinished sewing projects on the go and I finish my work quickly too. I can get a meal together quickly, run errands quickly and multi task like a woman possessed.
It has of course distinct disadvantages too. A few weeks ago I drove two hours to visit my Dad. Dad lives alone in his own unit and is completely self sufficient. When I go there I like to do things to help him, wash the floors, clean the loo, change his bed. This particular time I visited him on my own as Chris had already left for WA. I made us some scones for lunch and then we just sat at the table and chatted.....while I knitted (I cant just sit there, this includes while i am watching TV, listening to music etc. The only time that I do sit and do nothing is at the movies and when in another persons house)
Anyway I asked Dad if there was anything that he would like me to do for him while I was there. "No, I just want you to sit there and talk to me." But surely there was something that I could do to help. He said, "I don't need any help. I just want you to sit there and talk to me. You drive all this way and then say, 'I went to visit Dad' but you go off and do things and only talk to me for 10 minutes before you have to leave again."
WOW! If ever I needed a wake up nudge to make see the big lights coming at me, that was it! I told him I feel bad if I don't do something for him. Really it is all about me learning to do nothing, savouring the moment, basking in the joy of calmness, peaceful togetherness. Don't just sit there, do something is my mantra. I need to learn to do nothing! Oh I bet my daughter is nodding her head so hard that she has a headache right now!
'Don't just do something, sit there' is what I need to be comfortable doing.
The other big disadvantage is that I sometimes expect those around me to run at my pace, do things quickly and instantly like i do, never put things off and do everything NOW! I'm sure that can be very annoying. Danika loves to say to me, "It's a marathon not a sprint, Mum!"
It is difficult for me to slow down. I am mindful - mindful that I need to cram every little thing, experience, travel, song, movie, book, quilt, knitting pattern, gift, everything into my life. I want to do everything and not waste a second. I find it hard to relax, impossible to just sit. Poor Chris on holidays with me. No wonder I always come back much more tired than when I left!
When I was a kid though, I remember lying on my back staring at the clouds for ages, trying to make out what the clouds represented. Where did that ease of doing nothing go? I would like it back. I would actually love to be able to just enjoy the art of nothingness.
I can hear you all screaming at my in my head - well practice doing nothing! Meditate! take up yoga! Make friends with a nice anaesthetist...oh hang on, that's me. One of my good friends is going to give me a book on mindfulness - I think I do need it! My very good friend Garth Brooks says, " You can always smell the roses when you are running with them in your hand." That man is a bad example for me.
Someone once said to me that I have a lot of energy - being someone who suffers with fibromyalgia - I never considered myself terribly energetic. But I guess that drive to just achieve, achieve, achieve is more powerful than slim long legs that can run like the wind.
Any tips on slowing down?
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