D Day

and that would translate to Departure Day.

We all knew it was coming; we have been planning for it for nearly three months and then all of a sudden it has snuck right onto my shoulders and gripped me around the neck without a fanfare or some kind of emotional warning bell.

At this very moment as I write this, I am still pretty calm.  Mind you, don't know how that feeling will transpire at 6 p.m. as I pull out of the drive at Franmaree Road and head towards the boat in Devonport.

I think that I would have been a lot more excited about the actual trip if Chris had not been laid up since he got home mid December with a bad back. That has put a dampener on everything, I gotta say. 

But I still feel optimistic and I still feel blessed and hopeful.  I am also very, very thankful. As the regular readers amongst you can corroborate, it has been a struggle at times. I am just so grateful that my wonderful family and friends have pitched in and supported me in any way they could.  What on earth would I have done without you all;  giving me your blessings and encouragement.  Making me laugh when all I really wanted to do was bawl and then letting me bawl when I really needed to. 

I can't really imagine what it will be like to leave and realise that it will be for quite a long time.  I know that we are coming back for Emily and Farooq's wedding, but it will be different  - it won't be our home anymore. And I don't think that it ever will be again.

We have lived here for 10 years - the longest I have EVER lived anywhere apart from Mum and Dad's farm at Boat Harbour.  So to say I am attached to this house is an understatement. I have so many happy memories here and so many sad times as well.  But even the bad wasn't that bad; the good was bloody fantastic though!

Life is a queer old bird, isn't she? The triumphs and tribulations, the sickness and health (that we take for granted, most of the time) and the joy that we experience just in the everyday mundaneness of  the daily grind. The funny little things that make us laugh till we pee ourselves and our sides ache - or in my case, wheeze uncontrollably till I need Ventolin!  Once I start my Precious Pup impersonation, it just makes the kids laugh more :)

But as Danika says, " I Love Us!" I really do.  I love the way we stick by each other, I love the way that we know each other so well and can read each other so well. We know what we need before anything is said.  I also love that we still learn things about each other all the time. I love them all so much and what is particularly beautiful is I KNOW they love me back.  Really what more can one middle aged rotund little lady need??

One of the most influential books that I have ever read was by A.B. Facey, "A Fortunate Life".  It resounds so well in my heart because that's exactly how I think of my life.  So very, very fortunate; so full and so lucky. 

I will do my best to keep you up to date with what is happening along the way, but as internet connection may or may not be sketchy, bear with me :)

So as Chris and I depart our beloved Tassie soil and make our way West, I just want to thank Jonathan, Danika, Emily, Shaun, Farooq, Kerry, Debbie, Terry, Angela, Di and Dad, plus my lovely nieces Alarna, Claire and Emma - for your love, for your help, for your advice and caring and for the hugs and kisses that have held me together. 

Famille - mon amour, ma vie 

Packing Day Sunday

Packing Day Sunday has arrived with a cooling breeze and the promise of a warm clear day.  Not that it really matters about the weather, but I am taking that as a good sign, an omen if you like, that today will also go clear and smooth.

Today I will pack the car and all of the clothes that we still have here that are not in boxes down stairs.  The removalist is booked for tomorrow to pick up all the boxes and take them to Melbourne.  

Just sitting here, looking around the house, now Jonathan, Danika and Shaun's home, I can still see things everywhere that belong to us but wont be coming to WA.  Cushions on the couch; quilts thrown over chairs; table runners and place mats that I made; plants that I have had for well over twenty years that have been moved from pillar to post.  These things will not be moved this time. I might look at those as remants, little pieces of me that I am leaving behind.

My friend Miriam, who we are going to see in Victoria on the way West, has always had a lovely garden where ever she has lived.  She is also a very good gardener, green thumb if ever there was such a thing.  When we both lived on the NW Coast, we used to share various little cuttings out of each others gardens.  Pieces of roses, cute little ground covers. I clearly remember one day walking around Mim's garden and she pointed out a small white rose growing on the edge of the garden bed; she said, "There's a little piece of Kathy, I got that from you. I just stuck it in and away it went."

Memory has stuck in my head ever since and I love that idea of a little piece of me, or Mim, or some other friend being with me all the time.  I now do the same with fabric scraps, same idea, different medium :)

In a lot of my quilts, there is a little bit of Sharon,  a tidy smidge of Helen, a cute piece of red from Julie and on it goes. Taking my friends with me wherever I go in something that I have created.  I have left behind quite a few quilts in various homes dotted all over Tasmania. Those quilts are imbued with love and so in another way, I leave behind a little piece of Kathy and a lot of my love. 

I hope that today goes smoothly; I hope and pray that Chris' back continues to improve - yesterday was not a great day but then, yesterday is done now so I will focus on today. 
It is calm and quiet here this morning, no one else is up but Chris, Dizzy and I. The house is quiet and still.  Right behind me on Danika's utensil holder are the immortal words of Churchill;

Keep Calm and Carry On!

I will Winston, I will!

The Book Fieth

Sleep is a big topic in our house at the moment and what a rotter lasts nights was.  Well actually it wasn't too bad until I went to get out of bed.  Oh my, can we have two new backs pronto to Franmaree Road, one in a size 5 ft 8 and one in a 5 ft 4 and a half.  (*Note that I get to add my half an inch, it means a lot when you are my height!) 

That would be greash.

Last night Danika, Shaun and I went to the cinema to see The Book Thief (which apparently I pronounce Fieth - yeah whatever!).

In the immortal words of one of Australia's best loved pop commentators, "Do yourself a favour and go..." see this film. It made me laugh, gasp, cry, wince and cover my eyes in horror.   It has it all but mostly the story of love. Love that is instant, love that is earned and love that is gradually allowed to blossom into the full blown love of mother and child. 

It is also about the love of books; the power of words; the tenacity of human nature and the perseverance of faith. 

I have not read the book yet, but I intend to buy it at either the Adelaide or the Perth airport next week and read it as soon as a slow reader like me can.  

When I read a good book, I like to totally immerse myself in the pleasure of it.  I hear the words in different voices and imagine the scenery in my mind before moving on through the paragraph.  I like to feel really part of the tale.

If I really enjoy a sentence or don't quite get the imagery that I am after, I will re-read the same paragraph or sentence a few times, to get the most enjoyment out of it; or to hear what the author really wanted me to hear. 

Does anyone else read like this, or is it just me?

The Book Thief is sure to be awarded many gongs in the next couple of months and don't be surprised if Geoffrey Rush and the young actress who plays the namesake, Sophie Nelisse, are accepting awards for Best Actor and Best Actress.  They were brilliant.  As was the young boy who plays Rudy, Nico Liersch. 

I could easily sit through this movie again.  So when it comes out on DVD, I will be there at the head of the queue  with my $30, waiting.

In other news, Chris' back is improving a little each day. Yesterday he went to physio again so paying for that a bit this morning, but I am confident that it will improve as the day goes on. Let's all join hands, stand in a circle and hope like goodness, anyway :)

Saying Goodbye

Yesterday Danika and I drove down the coast to Wynyard to see Dad. Most of you know that Dad still lives by himself and is totally independant at 93.  He keeps in pretty good health and always feels better in summer. He cooks his own meals , does his own washing etc and makes jam, bread and pickles. 

    

 Dad in the jumper I knitted him last year - he said it was so big,

 I could give it to David Foster - cheeky bugger!

I rang him Tuesday to tell him that we would be coming down for a visit and he said that he was worried that I might already have left as he knew that it was coming up to leaving day soon. 

I would never have left the state without seeing Dad first.

We had a lovely few hours together talking and reminiscing.  When Danika and Shaun drove home just prior to Christmas, they came through the centre of Australia. Part of the trip was a visit to Uluru (Ayers Rock) and so Dad was telling Danika about the time that he and Mum went to Ayers Rock (as it was then). I told Danika that Dad bought a t-shirt  the night before he climbed the rock, that said  "I climbed Ayers Rock!"

He has always been like that, if he says he is going to do something, then he does it.

So as I was saying goodbye to Dad, I told him to take care of himself and not to overdo it, etc etc. I also said to him, "and always remember how much I love you!"

If there is one thing that I have learnt over my 52 years, it is never miss an opportunity to tell people you love that you do. I tell my friends, I tell my kids, I tell my sisters and brother and I tell my husband.  And when I tell people I love them, I mean it. 

In my fortunate life, I feel so lucky to still have my Dad; to have sisters and a brother to love and have as friends; I feel blessed to have friends that listen to me, support me and make me laugh when I'm blue. I am blessed to have three wonderful kids without whom I just could not have made it through the last couple of months. So telling them I love them is important. I would not want them to ever doubt the depth of my love for them.

We only have four more sleeps now till Departure Day.  Those antelopes are galloping again and I am only too aware that yesterday was just the start of the hard goodbyes. 

I hope and pray for the courage I need to be brave.

A Quieter House

The house got a lot quieter this morning.  Emily, Farooq and their cat Harriette left to return to Sydney.  Come Friday they will pack their cars up and head to the Nations Capital - Canberra - to begin their new life there. 

The house seems a bit empty.  Although we still have Danika here, her fiance is away also this week so it is just the four of us - plus three dogs! 

Chris' back is still giving him bucket loads of curry.  He still cannot sleep in a bed and is very tired all the time.  9 times out of ten, when I look over at him, his head is down to his chest and he is out to it. I am really hoping and praying for a miracle by next Monday, sooner would be even better of course. 

This week will be chocka block with last minute appointments and a trip down the coast to see Dad before I leave. Dental, podiatry, hair etc - all have to be seen to before I get on that boat on Monday night. When I think about it all, I get a nervy tummy and the butterflies turn into antelopes galloping about.  Everyone assures me that it will all be fine but I am truly at the stage now, that I just want to go and get to Karratha and start our new life there. 

I have minimal packing left, mostly clothes and the last few things that kick around for a final grab.  The lists are still with me, taunting me when I walk past the bench - in a "Don't Forget Me!" kinda way.  At least the packing station aka The Dining Table is in it's unextended state, which is a plus I think.  The last thing to be disconnected and packed will be the  stereo. I cannot live without my music.

I have gone over the box allocation so will need to talk to the removalist about that when he arrives. Hope he is amiable to a few more. Not much but at least two extra boxes. I have a small and tidy pile sitting down in the garage waiting to be squeezed into the car along with the cases etc.  Thank Goodness in a way, that we  aren't taking Dizzy. That will make packing the car a much more tolerable task.

Today I am going to move all our stuff out of our bedroom and put it in the spare bedroom so that Danika can continue to unpack her gear and actually have room to put it somewhere.  In some ways it is a lot easier having them move in but in another it presents other difficulties that need to be accommodated  - working around each others boxes etc.  But then we have had the pleasure of being here together at the same time, so that part was fun. 

So between the care giving to the patient and the waving goodbye; unpacking; cleaning; washing - and there is a small mountain of that ~ it has been an exhausting day.  A wonderful respite comes this afternoon in the form of a hair appointment -bliss - a whole hour or so of nothing! Can't wait.

Frozen

and No, I am not talking about the weather in Tassie at the moment but I could be.

The weather is appalling here, raining, cold, windy  - real winter stuff.  However we have just been to the cinema to watch the animated movie, "Frozen" and it was fantastic and funny. 

It is the story of true love based on the Hans Christian Anderson fable of the Ice Queen.  The pivot of the tale though is not true love between a princess and a prince but between two sisters. I went to see it with my two daughters and my SIL. 

Yes we are all adults but the movie was so worth it, we laughed an awful lot through it as well a few tugs on the heart strings. 

I wont spoil it for you, but I really so recommend you go see it.  This rainy, cold afternoon was the perfect opportunity for a nice relaxing few hours in a darkened room with comfy chairs, a big screen plus a box of popcorn :) 

At one particular moment when all the main characters were standing around looking forlorn and worried, one little person on the other side of the cinema wanted to know, "What's Sven doing?"  Sven is the reindeer!! LOL

As always there is the fall guy who gets all the funny lines - think the butler Niles is The Nanny, he got all the best gag lines and most of them were MA rated. In this movie it is Olaf the snow man who has all the insight as well as all the punch lines and cute awww moments. 

The other stand out supporting role is the aforementioned Sven the reindeer, he's the good back up guy!

So while you wait for Philomena or The Railway Man, go see Frozen - I can pretty much guarantee you will love it. 

Little Yellow Gumboots

In amongst all the packing, cleaning up, chucking out etc, I came across this photo of Lilly (AKA Daughter E) again.  A few of you would remember when this photo was taken.  It was not long after the childrens' father and I went in different directions.  The children and I moved to a little house in Bird Street, Burnie, not far from their school. Lil was only about 4 in this photo.  I reckon they are actually her sisters boots :)

I am not entirely sure what the occasion was that prompted this photo, it may have been that she just looked so darned cute in those yellow gumboots.  It may have been her 4th birthday photo. A new Care Bear perhaps? 

We had some great times in that little house; we also had some heart breakers.

What I also remember so well from those months, was the beautiful support that my elder sister, Julie, was to me. At times I was quite overwhelmed with what "singlemotherhood" brought with it on a daily basis. For a 30 year old with three children under 10, at times the circumstances were daunting, scary, lonely and downright unfair - but as I have always said to the kids, "Life is unfair, get used to it!" So practice what you preach is the next cliche that springs to mind :) Buckle up and get down to it.

Julie would often call and say "Kathryn, what are you doing?" And so off we would go on some little jaunt.  One morning we had organised to go nursery shopping, (as in garden variety, not baby variety)  and I dropped Emily off to kindergarten with Danika. When Julie and I returned at lunch time to pick up Emily, the teacher informed me that actually there was no kinder that morning as they had had an excursion earlier in the week and so Emily was in fact the only kid in kinder that morning!  Ooops - she had spent the morning with her big sister in Grade 2! Quite happily apparently.

That sort of common sense, empathic response would not occur now - they would report you to Welfare and put the kid straight into foster care. Okay slight exaggeration but after I got over the enormous embarrassment, and the funny side was realised, I also appreciated the fact that Mrs French could see what sort of emotionally fragile state I was in and a mistake like this was overlooked as a normal stress response, not a "losing her mind" type response. 

Back to the daily grind at present, I have nearly finished all the packing, maybe one box of bits and bobs to go and then the suit cases with clothes etc to take on the boat/plane.

Chris' bad back still prevents him from doing anything much, although we have been to the pool the last two days (finally got him there!) and he thinks it is helping - thank you God!
Even though we have a decent size house, with 7 adults, three dogs and a cat, it is pushed to the seams a bit at the moment - but that's OK, soon we will be two adults and 1 cat less (unfortunately, but they need to go back to Sydney and get themselves ready to move States as well). That will make one of the dogs happier anyway. LOL!

I am to the stage now, where I just want to go. All the planning, preparations, plan changing and frustrations are wearing thin. It seems like we have been on this treadmill of moving for so long and my brain is stuck on rewind a bit.  What to do, what to pack, what to organise, etc etc. So many things to remember!

But then if I look back at the photo of the cutest little girl in her yellow gumboots, clutching her Care Bear in a blue suede dress, then I can remember that we have been through challenging times before and with a fair amount of humour and family love, we got through it then and we will again.