A Momentus Birthday

My Cup Runneth Over 

I think I have said before about a song my Mother used to sing all the time when I was a little girl.  It was sung by the man who played Gomer Pyle ~ Jim Nabors.  He had the most melodic voice and so strong. And boy could he hold a note!  That song not only reminds me of my darling Mum but also gives me a nudge to recall how full my cup is of Love.

Look at that cheeky lop sided grin

Mum used to hum this song and sing it when she was wandering about the house doing Mum things.  I loved it and it obviously had a  huge affect on my small self because I still sing it, I used to sing it to Chris and I say it all the time - my cup aint half full, it aint half empty ~ it is brimmming over the top.  Clearly it has become a mantra for me because this was a birthday gift from my sister...

This year  my birthday was an extra special occassion for a couple of reasons:

•                 my first as an unemployed person for about 40 years
•                 Christine, Peter and Alan were here to share it with me
•              I officially began life as a SFR (self funded retiree)
•              my fifth as a widow

And in keeping with the theme of Blessings, this year I felt much more content with notching up another year on my own.  I was thinking about past years this morning and recalling cringe worthy moments.  You know those times when you REALLY wish you could turn back the clock and not say that thing, not push that button, just let the sleeping dog snooze on.  But because we are humans ergo not perfect, there is always something we could have done better.

With the addition of years comes the substraction of giving away those precious fucks.  I am finally, finally, realising that I dont have to give my all to people who dont give me anything; I dont have to look like Meg Ryan just because we are the same age ~ (I am more your Susan Boyle type lady ) and I only have to live up to my expectations and trust me, they are tough enough.

 My legs may not be long, slim and tidy but the places these short, fat legs have taken me have been amazing.

These little legs have climbed up the Great Wall, wandered around Pompeii, walked for miles around fascinating places,  skipped down the Champs Elysees (well skipping is a stretch), waltzed around the dance floor and held me up when I thought I could only crawl. 

These arms with generous fadoobidas have held my Love, cradled precious babies, soothed my darlings, greeted loved ones with big squishy hugs, swum in the Mediterranean; cleaned, cooked, washed, typed, gardened, dug, sewed and knitted and still worked just fine regardless of what they look like. 

For too many years, I have believed the stuff that other people projected about me about not being good enough or was that just my own self projecting what I thought they thought.... I dont know and that's  a bit hard to tease out this morning.  Time is short, lots to do. 

Anyway...this year its about being thankful for what I have.  I am so lucky to have the beautiful family I have, lovely dear friends who do actually care about me, a dear little house, good health, freedom to do what I like, freedom to go where I want to go and a sense of contentment that reminds me life is amazing and it is all about the small stuff.